KEY CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY CHURCH FAMILY

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows, and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.  So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.”

(Ephesians4:15-17 NIV)

As leaders, we discovered some very practical aspects of the church as healthy family in our interpersonal relationships. God wanted us to live together with maximum honesty, authenticity, vulnerability, humility, and joy. He challenged us to build a culture of healthy local church by practicing the values of His Kingdom culture ourselves – in our own families and homes. If the leaders in a church live a lifestyle that reflects the characteristics of the Godhead, then the whole church community is able to follow this example. The Lord wants His leaders to practice healthy relationships so we can lead by example.

Healthy covenant relationships among church leaders begins with excellent communication. The Lord doesn’t want us to hide from one another. He doesn’t want us to avoid conflicts. His way to navigate conflict will increase our understanding and our connection with the other person, not cause a rift. Learning to walk together in true love and unity is an important part of our calling. Becoming strategically effective in our calling requires us to become healthy family.

Leaders tend to be gifted and ambitious people. But learning to work together as a team is how we discover true humility. The Lord doesn’t throw a bunch of gifted leaders together just to change the world or accomplish a task. He wants us to become family. He wants us to pray for one another and contribute to each other’s success. As iron sharpens iron, He knows we will become more selfless, and free of selfish ambition. He wants us to value each other’s different perspectives. He also wants our love for one another to become so strong that our love becomes the strength of our covenant. We can seek to establish covenant with one another based solely on biblical principal, but the strongest covenant bond is based on love.

The Lord desires unity: He doesn’t want us to be separated from one another because we have built walls of self-protection. Honesty requires courage, and we must be convinced we will not be punished for our honesty. We can learn to be boldly, courageously vulnerable with each other. He wants us to be willing to show weakness with one another and be honest about our frustrations. He knows it’s important for us to be able to admit when we are offended. When we are vulnerable, it should increase people's love for you and inspire them to pray for you.

Once you have experienced the dynamics of a healthy team, you won’t live any other way. It is simply a superior way of living! You become endeared to members of your leadership team because of their vulnerability toward you. Because of your prayers for them, you begin to see fellow church leaders becoming strong where they once were weak. The whole team begins to experience much joy in the process of fulfilling God’s purpose in your lives together. Each person learns to follow the Lord together as you depend on the Lord to initiate among you what He is doing. Greater strategic effectiveness in your corporate calling as a church starts to manifest. You learn how to become more fruitful in God’s Kingdom with less striving (John 15:5-8). You all learn together how to bear the light yoke (Matthew 11:28-30). Each person develops a lifestyle that draws strength from your connection to one another (Ephesians 4:15-17).

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